Love is never hurting the one you love
... deliberately.
Love is never giving up faith
... that love will triumph.
Love is never stop loving
... not even through separation
... and misunderstanding.
Love is shared laughter,
shared memories,
shared time.
Love is Tommy and Alan on a road trip,
Ennis and Jack on the mountain,
Martin and Lucas on the bike,
Aaron and Chris in the snow,
Andrew and Mark on the lake,
Shaun and Zach on the waves,
Bri and Toby on the way home.
The Trip
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=wxOuazgQasA
Love is refusing to be anything less than you deserve as Tommy refusing Alan's attempt to turn their relationship into one of those "O I was so drunk I don't remember a thing" good times.
Love is stepping to the plate, even if it means making changes even butterflies-in-stomach kind of changes, like Alan coming out of the closet.
Love is being more with the person who sees more in you.
Love is all the wordless communication
based on shared experiences, memories
Nothing is said, but so much is communicated,
even feelings, especially feelings
Love is all the wordless mis-communication
based on assumptions,
misunderstood meanings, growing apart
Nothing is said, because so much is hidden,
mis-interpreted, feared to be spoken,
opportunities missed, words left unsaid.
Love is facing the truth, speaking it out loud
even when it hurts, especially when it hurts
Everything is possible, nothing is out of range
without love, nothing is possible,
everything out of range,
life's fullest meaning...missed
Gone, but Not Forgotten
"All my life I have felt different, and a screwup, but when I am with you, I don't feel that anymore, I just feel normal."
L'Homme que J'aime
Love is knowing that when love has found you,
whether afraid or not,
confused or not,
be ready and willing to take it on,
no matter what.
There is true love, or idealized love, as Ennis and Jack experienced it in the summer of '63 on Brokeback Mountain, away from the cold cruel world, crystallized by their memory of it, even four and twenty years later.
There is real love as experienced by the majority of us, who must nurture it while defending it from the buffeting winds of the daily grind, the torturous rips and tears of dealing with all the real world disappointments and all the suffocating overwhelming fears induced by lies, jealousies, and uncertainties unavoidable in real life.
There is true love, and there is real love.
The lucky ones experience true love, and live it.
The rest of us mortals struggle
with the imperfections of real love,
fighting to achieve the true love,
whether from memory or from imagination.
I think...
Love is the ultimate relationship
between any two people.
Love is the mutual respect
in a friendship that caught fire.
Love is the flame of passion fanned
by an atmosphere of honesty and trust.
Love is sustained by the substantial weight
of loyalty and devotion.
Love is the fuel that burns
over years of daily humdrum and major life events.
Love is the wind that lifts us to a higher plane,
to live for more, to be more.
Love is the meaning
that connects all the dots.
Love requires all three parts of
honesty, respect, and loyalty.
Without honesty, love suffocates
in an atmosphere of fear and suspicion.
Without respect, love disintegrates
in an environment of emotional stabs
and verbal jabs.
Without loyalty, the flame of passion dies
in times of stress,
times of disappointment,
and boring daily maintenance.
Love is Shaun letting go of Zach,
giving him space, when he said he was done.
Love is Shaun loving Zach's return,
without condition, without accusations,
with open arms and loving heart
with the only question, what has changed?
Love is Zach's changing, wanting to be more,
to take what he wants, knowing he was loved,
knowing he was respected,
knowing Shaun had confidence in him,
no matter what.
Love is Ennis and Jack for twenty years
trying to re-capturing that one summer in '63.
Love is Ennis keeping the memories
of Brokeback Mountain alive for as long as he lived.
Love has to be free, and so sometimes, to love is to let go. To just let it be. When we try to cage it, catch it, chain it, love dies and is no longer love, but anti-love. Anti-love is the imposter of love that grew out of fear and loneliness, not the real love that is rooted in generosity, compassion, caring, and giving. Anti-love can forge strong chains that bind, but real true love is stronger and will set the chained soul free.
And love is unexpected because it is bigger than us. How can we expect and plan for what we do not know? It is like riding the wave, surfing...you cannot plan on the wave but you can ride it for as long as it's there.
Shelter
Watching Shelter, and thinking about Shane Mack's song, Lie to Me, I am beginning to understand that a lot of relationships, even loving relationships, are built on lies, not the malicious deceitful lies that destroys, but loving caring lies that protects.
We all have our own expectations and image of our loved ones. Sometimes we have to lie to keep from bursting their bubble of happiness, to allow them to think that we are better than we think of ourselves. It is like Zach may not feel very talented or special, but in Shaun's eyes, he is beautiful and talented. When he told Zach to learn to take a compliment, it was for Zach to believe Shaun, even if he think it's a lie (which it isn't). I guess what I am saying is that sometimes truth and love are incompatible, and this is when love must always prevail, even if we allow truth to bend a bit, so that we can stretch to become the bigger person in our love one's mind.
It is this make believe element of love that make us grow. The problem with many relationships is not because there is not enough truth, but rather because the lies are the malicious deceitful destructive hurtful kind, instead of the loving caring protective nurturing kind.
There is a time for truth, and it is not in the middle of love making.
Four Feathers / A Knight's Tale
Having thought about Four Feathers some more, and recalling what Jocelyn said to William in A Knight's Tale, I think there is something that is the essence of true love, the kind between Ennis and Jack, Harry and Ethne, and even the love of friendship between Harry and Jack.
This essence is the love that is selfless.
As Jocelyn told William, to prove his love for her, he has to do what would be against his own nature, to deny his own self-love, the love we all have more than any other. William proved his love by overcoming his own sense of pride, of competitive nature to win. Harry proved his love, by placing Jack's and Ethne's happiness above his own, and vice versa with Jack. Ennis and Jack did this all the time in their summer of '63. In a sense, even their goodbye next to Jack's truck, was in their own way a sacrifice for the other. Jack thought Ennis wanted to continue with his engagement to Alma. Ennis thought Jack wanted to continue with his career in the rodeo, or the army. Neither thought that the love of their life would also want to hold on. The social environment never allowed that part of their relationship to mature, and grow. So they showed their love in the only way they know how. After their reunion, Ennis should have know better, but his own fears kept him from seeing Jack's devotion, and he was also thinking of protecting Jack in his own twisted self-denying way.
As it was said earlier, true love is to do for the loved one what was needed, what was wanted, without being asked, without being told, and without expectations or agenda in return. It is the ultimate selfless love.
So what is love? How do I recognize it when it finds me again?
Well, here is a summary of possible clues from the posts you all contributed:
Love is the racing heart when he is around.
Love is the vision of him in a crowded room, and seeing no one else.
Love is the wish to make him happy, no matter what.
Love is seeing myself through his eyes, and feel glad to be alive.
Love is knowing whatever I do with him, he will be glad to be there.
Love is believing in him, and knowing that he believes in me, just as much.
Love is trusting him, and knowing that he trusts me.
Love is wishing every moment of every day is spent with him.
Love is thinking of him whenever something good or sad happened.
Love is having him think that I am important.
Love is having him love the way I am, with no need to change.
Love is wanting to change, for him.
Transamerica
Love is acceptance and respect,
...seeing them through their own eyes but more
...unconditionally without a past, without secrets
...just the way they are
1 comment:
Simply beautiful.
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